She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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