I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
