You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
