I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
