I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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