Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
pray to the hookup gods
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
