Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
