i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
