After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
