Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
