I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
