i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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