coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
