I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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