I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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