Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
