Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
