He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
