Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
