Cold hands, warm shart.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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