no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think my vagina is haunted
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
