I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sponge bath it is.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
