Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
