4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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