so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
