wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
