Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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