What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
