No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
