just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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