yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
