he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
