Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
