Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
