he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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