i jhust puked up my retainher.
i wish my penis had a tongue
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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