You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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