if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
