Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just had sex on a roof
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
