some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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