perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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