fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
