he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
