"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
