wakey wakey hands off snakey
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
