it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Come see our sink grown plant.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
