She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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