aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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