i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
