he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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