I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You can't motorboat a personality
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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