Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
