Your mouth is God's brothel.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
