i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
