Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
